Biting in toddlers is a common challenge that many parents face. It leads us to question whether biting is sensory or behaviour based? As Occupational Therapists working with sensory toddlers this is something we deal with regularly. So while this can be a very emotionally overwhelming experience for parents there are reasons your child may be biting and there are tools that you can use to support him during this time.

The Sensory Side of Biting:

Some children use biting as a way to sensory sooth when their sensory system is overwhelmed. The biting provides their sensory system with a calming, deep pressure sense similar to the calming self-soothing that a pacifier or bottle gives a baby. The mouth is a particularly strong self-soothing organ and along with sucking and chewing, biting can be very effective. Even adults use the mouth to self-sooth when chewing on a pen or on gum. Some children are more sensitive than others and they will need more self regulation input than others to reach a calm state. Biting may meet the needs of sensory seeking children who need more deep pressure through their jaw, but will also help sensory sensitive children deal with multi-sensory environments which may be overwhelming for them. For a child who might be noise sensitive attending a noisy party, biting may help them to feel more grounded. Understanding the sensory reason behind a child’s biting will help you as a parent know how to best support them.

Tips to Support your Sensory Biter:

1. Deep pressure  – meet your sensory seekers need for more deep pressure, or support your sensory sensitive child’s need for self regulation. Give him lots of deep bear hugs, slow/firm arm squeezes and resting heavy hands on his shoulders.
2. Rough and tumble play – the pulling and pushing of joints during this fun type of play is sensory calming for your child.
3. Food/snack choices – meet your child’s need for biting by providing chewy, crunchy snacks. For example dried mango, biltong, apple slices, carrots, snack biscuits, rice crackers etc.
4. Water bottle – choose a water bottle that requires your little one to suck hard on or that has a chewy straw.
5. Thick liquid through thin straws – offer your child thick drinking yoghurt, custard or smoothie with a thin straw to encourage a strong sucking action.
6. Watch for sensory cues – look for subtle signs that your sensitive child is becoming overwhelmed and offer sensory strategies BEFORE she feels the need to bite. These may include: an overly quiet child becoming very loud or visa versa; a loss of colour in their cheeks or becoming overly flushed; a wide-eyed startled gaze; nose picking or finger sucking; mouthing or chewing on toys, clothes or blankets; hiccups or yawning; withdrawing from others; whining; uncharacteristic bossy or controlling behaviour.

The Behaviour Side of Biting:

If while looking at the context of your child’s behaviour there is a major life change such as a new sibling, starting a new school, parent away on a work trip, moving house, loss of a family member or pet – his biting may have more of an emotional root cause. Other behavioural reasons your toddler may be biting include teething, object exploration, attention seeking and a difficulty expressing himself. In babies and toddlers expressive language develops slower than their receptive language skills. This means that they understand more than they are able to express and this can be very frustrating for them. Although we don’t want babies to hurt others or damage objects they bite, it is necessary to remember that mouthing objects is an important developmental step in learning the spatial and temporal qualities of the world around them.

Tips to Support your Emotional Biter:

1. Be firm – set a clear boundary by using a simple, clear phrase in a firm, no-nonsense tone of voice (e.g. “no biting!” or “no hurting!”)
2. Attention on the victim – be mindful to pay more attention to the victim than the biter and ensure that there is an apology (if not verbal then a hug or a high five).
3. Provide teething relief – if your little one is teething ensure that you support her with teething toys, gum numbing solutions or cool snacks.
4. Gentle exploration – teach your baby to mouth delicate objects softly and gently. Use words in a soothing tone along with soft tactile cues to help them understand this concept. For example saying “softly” while gently rubbing their arm.
5. Tools to express wants, needs and feelings – if your little one is not yet able to verbally indicate what they need or how they feel encourage them to use non-verbal gestures or signs to avoid biting. Teach them the words they need to use by modelling this for them. For example “I see you are cross that Johnny took your toy”, “say please to Johnny”.
6. Support major life changes – while your little one is going through this transition be sure to include nurturing play into their day. This child-led time may include dress up, role play, imaginary play, puppet play, creative/art play. Allowing your child this time to express themselves how they want to can support them in processing the change. Reading books together around the topic of the life change can also help them in this time. If they are struggling to express how they feel you can label the emotions for them or use a picture chart for them to identify how they are feeling so that they can feel heard and understood. Offering simple choices for your child to make can help her to feel that she has control in some areas when she may not have control in others (for example asking her to pick from 2 snack options or giving her the choice of which T-shirt she wants to wear).

If you have tried these tips and still feel like your child’s biting may not be resolving or it is getting worse you may want to connect with an Occupational Therapist or a Play Therapist to help you navigate the next steps.

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As Occupational Therapists we are often asked to advise on how to manage difficult behaviour in the classroom or at home. One of the most challenging times of development to set boundaries and manage behaviour is with toddlers. Below we offer some tips on how to discipline and set boundaries with strong willed toddlers.

Discipline tips for toddlers from the experts:

1. Tone of Voice – When reprimanding your tone of voice needs to go lower so that it is noticeably different from your happy or calm tone when your child is behaving well. Children sometimes don’t process what we are saying in a meltdown but can process tone of voice, facial expressions and non verbal body language.
2. “No Elephant Stomps Right!” – This is a silly acronym for you to remember in the middle of your little toddler’s stomping meltdown! No stands for Name the Emotion. Elephant stands for Empathise. Stomps stands for Sensory Soother and Right stands for Reassure. If a child is having a meltdown, remove them from the situation and say something like: I know you’re feeling angry, I would also feel angry if my friend took my toy, but mom is going to hold and rock you and soon-soon you will feel better. Repeat this in a calm soothing voice until your child calms.
3. Be Consistent – Consistency is key to success when it comes to setting boundaries. Your yes must be your yes and your no must be your no! This way your child will learn to trust what you say and won’t feel the need to constantly test what you say! For example, if you said that your child must say sorry before he can go and play after an incident, then stick to that.  Even if it means removing him from the situation or holding him until he decides to follow through.  If a verbal sorry is too hard, a non-verbal hug or high five sorry can suffice.
4. Closed Choices – Try not to ask open ended questions with children who often answer no. For instance “Can I take off your jersey because you’re hot?” Rather use closed choices, for instance, “Am I going to take off your jersey or are you?” If your cross little one still says no, then you can try saying, “I am going to count to 3, then I will take off your jersey because you couldn’t choose.” Make sure to follow through despite the struggle which may ensue.
5. Don’t be Scared of the Fall Out – This is a common pitfall for boundary setting. Remember that he is just a little child. You are bigger and wiser than him!  Neurologically your child’s frontal cortex is still developing, so things like judgement, reasoning and problem solving are not yet mature and so he will react with his immature fight/fright/flight brain. Be confident in your handling choices and stick to your guns. If you make a mistake, reflect upon it, discuss it with a friend or family member and endeavour to do better next time. You can always say sorry to a child if you didn’t handle a situation correctly. But in the moment – be confident with your handling choice and stick to it.
6. Don’t Allow Long Ended Negotiations – Make an executive decision if your child can’t decide. Children can get themselves and you caught in a round-and-round, never ending negotiation that goes nowhere. Offer her the independence to try sort out issues or make choices, but if she can’t, step in as the adult and make the call for her.
7. Look for Positives – Some days your child receives a lot of negative feedback from you or others for bad behaviour. On these days be extra watchful for positive behaviour and praise her very specifically. Don’t say something too general such as “you’re a good girl.” Rather say something more specific such as, “you ate your snack well and packed away your bowl beautifully.” Positive reinforcement is often more successful.

We hope these tips and handling principles help you to get discipline with toddlers right and make your family dynamic more loving and positive! Find more tips in our Groovy Adventurer parenting book here.

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In today’s rushed and digital era it is easy to miss opportune moments to strengthen this bond. We may be rushing from one activity to another, trying to multitask or distracted by an email as we try to work from home. This is why we have to be purposeful in order to ensure that this connection is secure.

Feeding is an opportune time where this bonding and attachment happens most naturally. As the baby feeds and gazes into their caregivers eyes, they are perfectly positioned on a sensory and neurological level to grow this attachment. Most often Mom is the one feeding her baby and thus inherently benefits more consistently from this magical attachment activity. This can leave Dad feeling less of a bond initially with his baby. Often this bond strengthens with Dad when a new sibling arrives, forcing Mom to be less available as she cares for the new baby. This gives Dad some focused opportunities to bond with his child. However, there is no need to wait for a new sibling to strengthen your baby’s attachment to significant others, you can start from the very beginning. Strong early attachment bonds have been proven to impact positively on future relationships and emotional well being.

Tips for strengthening attachment from the start:
1. skin-to-skin – make sure to spend some time daily with your baby in just their nappy and lying directly on your chest (their skin to your skin). Anyone can do this – not just Mom!

2. eye contact – be intentionally present when feeding, changing, bathing or singing to your baby. Try not to be distracted by others, screens or background noise. Try to position yourself approximately 30cm from your baby’s face as this is the best distance for them to focus on you.

3. contrasting colours – babies are able to focus on strong contrasts the easiest. You can wear make-up to contrast your eyes and lips or wear solid, bold coloured clothing which contrasts with your background.

4. co-sleeping – newborn babies do not form habits for the first few months, so co-sleeping during this time can have lovely attachment benefits without the fear of forming these sleep habits. You can co-sleep or rest with your baby during their nap time, it does not need to be all night.

5. peek-a-boo – there is a reason why babies love this game so much. It is because by playing this game they are learning that their caregiver is always there, even when baby can’t see them. In this way babies develop form constancy (knowing an object or person is there, even when it is out of sight), which helps them not to be anxious when they are separated from their caregiver for a short period of time. This trust that their caregiver will come back does wonders for bonding and attachment.

6. purposeful time – taking daily pockets of time to stop everything and focus solely on engaging with your little one (without background noise or other distractions) will grow this attachment bond. You could try cooing or imitating facial expressions (e.g. puckering lips or sticking your tongue out) and waiting for your baby to similarly respond. For the slightly older baby you could have fun with hand clapping games, nursery rhymes or action songs.

7. attachment object – many babies will attach to an object that smells familiar (like mom, dad, granny). You could try sleeping with one of their receiving blankets or a taglet. Then give this to them when they are sleepy, upset or away from you for a time. Babies sense of smell is stronger than adults’ and thus you should be careful not to overstimulate them with strong perfumes.

Just like we all have different personalities, we also all have different sensory needs and preferences. Some babies can tolerate a lot of attachment and bonding activities in their day while other babies become easily overwhelmed with too much. The best way to know what your baby needs is to watch their signs. Follow your baby’s lead and watch for cues that he has had enough. He may look away from you, yawn, hold up his hands in front of him, suck on his fingers more, start to hiccup, arch his back or give you a little frown. You don’t need to spend one long period in the day bonding with your baby, shorter more frequent periods throughout the day can be just as valuable. Happy bonding!

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To better understand how to tackle Motor Planning difficulties, we need to first look at its roots. In our Groovy Adventurers Book (https://www.jumpleapfly.co.za/groovy-adventurer-book/), we use a tree to explain development.

A tree needs firm roots in order for the trunk and branches to be strong and to bear fruit. Similarly, in development, foundational root skills need to mature before more complex trunk and branch skills can improve (which are the skills we see at home and in the classroom). Praxis or Motor Planning is a trunk skill, which is necessary for the fruit skills of task completion and work pace in the classroom. For example, a child who is sensitive to movement and feels insecure when their feet leave the floor, will not develop that inner GPS of where their body is in space and how it is moving. Without this awareness of the two sides of their body, they may not be able to use subtle postural adjustments to smoothly execute their motor plans.

Now that we know how Motor Planning develops – from Root to Fruit, we can start having fun at every level to help our children mature in this area. By starting at the root level, we can make sure they have firm foundations to build on as the demands of tasks become more complex. Let’s take a look at some ideas for activities you can do at each level:

Root Activities:
– 3 blind mice – work with your child to create an obstacle course. Try let him come up with his own ideas by asking him leading and prompting questions, e.g. “what can we do with this chair?” or “how can this table be part of this obstacle course?” Use your chairs, tables, cushions, laundry baskets etc. to create obstacles your little one can crawl under, through, over and crash onto. Let them pack out the obstacle course as independently as possible. Have them test the obstacle course out. Now use a blindfold and see if the blind mouse can find his way through the maze without his eyes helping him! He will have to rely on his sense of touch and body senses to feel his way through the obstacle course!

Trunk Activities:
Ribbon peg race – tie a length of ribbon to the top of a chair. Ask your child to sit on the floor about 30cm away from the chair and holding the other end of the ribbon. Start with 10 to 15 pegs and have a race to see how quickly he can peg the pegs onto the ribbon, by alternating attaching each peg to the opposite side of the ribbon (like zip teeth). He will need to remain seated and use both hands in order to complete the task. If the ribbon is not taut he will not be able to attach the pegs quickly. This activity requires bilateral integration (the coordinated use of two sides of the body). You can race against your child or see if he can beat his time on the next round using a stop watch.

Branch Activities:
Getting unstuck – take a trip to to the local park where there is a jungle gym. Have a long ribbon, rope or string handy. Tie one end of the string to the jungle gym and then wrap and wind it around different parts of the jungle gym – you can make it very easy with just a few twists and turns or make it more tricky with loads of tangles! Now tie the other end to your child’s waist and see if he can untangle himself! You can bring pretend play or imaginary play into it by pretending he has been captured and is freeing himself!

Fruit Activities:
Quack-Quacks – what do you call these fun cutting, folding and playing crafts? We call them Quack-Quacks and most children love making and playing with them and we love the folding, bilateral hand skills and planning needed for this task. We love these variations from the lovely ladies at the Spruce Crafts – thanks for the inspiration ladies! (https://www.thesprucecrafts.com/make-these-creative-cootie-catchers-4149965 ) More recently in our OT sessions we have enjoyed a Harry Potter Quack-Quack to figure out which house the children would be in if they attended Hogwarts! Thanks to Getawaytoday for the free printable click here to get yours: https://www.getawaytoday.com/travel-blog/harry-potter-origami-sorting-hat-free-printable

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The below diagram of a tree may help you to visualise what is happening with your little one’s development. It is important that, just like a tree, the “root” (or foundation) skills need to be watered and developed first so that the rest of the tree can grow healthy and strong. These sensory systems (touch, smell, taste, hearing, sight, movement and body position sense) are the basis of all other development and require constant input as your amazing baby grows and develops. As we move up the trunk of the tree (postural security, awareness of two sides of the body, motor planning, body scheme and reflex maturity) the development of the skills becomes slightly more complex. If there are strong, healthy roots, then the trunk skills will have a stable base to build on and should develop with opportunity and practice. The branches (ocular motor control, eye-hand coordination, attention, auditory and language, visual perception, spatial perception and postural adjustment) are the next level of development and can only progress well when built on the strong roots and trunk skills of the tree. The final stage is the fruit of the tree (self care tasks, behaviour and academic learning) and these are the skills your child is measured and tested on. They are the product of all that’s below them. Just as a tree that is not watered has shallow roots or an unhealthy trunk that will not bear fruit, so too a child that does not have strong foundational skills will not be able to attain the more complex academic, social and emotional skills expected of them. For example, maturity of the touch system (root level) enables better motor planning ability (being able to plan and execute a purposeful movement) which is a trunk skill. This is important for eye-hand coordination (a branch) which in turn enables the development of writing skills for academic learning (fruit). In other words, input at the root level can have an impact all the way up the tree to the fruit.

Making sure you spend some time each day providing Sensory Play opportunities for your baby/toddler will help them to form firm foundations on which to build more complex skills as they grow and develop.

Play is your child’s “work” and it is the way he learns best. JumpLeapFly will be hosting a one day workshop together with Training for Life which will cover both Sensory Play as well as Baby/Toddler CPR and First Aid – the PlaySafe Workshop. This will be an interactive workshop with loads of sensory activity ideas for you to do at home with your little one. Presented by professionals in these fields you will also have the opportunity to ask questions and try out many of the practical aspects of the workshop. We would love you to join us! Please visit www.FaceBook.com/JumpLeapFly for more information and to book for the next workshop.

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You managed to get through these past weeks since school closed.  It’s close to the new year starting, yet there are still a few weeks to go till the kiddies go back to school again.  Many parents are wondering how they will entertain their little ones.

Never fear, we are here to help inspire with some cost-effective ideas and tips, that will help you keep your sanity over these holidays.

Remember that just as you are feeling tired and overwhelmed from this busy year, your children are also feeling it. Some sensitive little beings may pick up on your tiredness and reflect or mirror that even if they are just babies. It is really important that you remember not to over schedule yourself or your children during this time.

Here’s what you can try to make December/January holidays a blast:

• Plan a pyjama day, where you all stay in PJs all day, building tents and forts, reading books, doing puzzles, singing songs, and maybe watching a movie, if they are old enough
• Alternate planned outings and busy days with quieter time at home
• Use a day to sort out toys and encourage your kids to choose some toys to donate to the less fortunate
• Keep a large box, or container, in your garage, with toys they may have stopped playing with, but which they love too much to part with. In a few months’ time, you can swap these toys for others in their playroom, so that your kids stay interested in these recycled toys
• Choose activities that will help them to process and reflect on the year gone by. You may want to print some photos of key events during the year and make a scrapbook or poster with them
• Make a card for significant people who have helped your child/children reach certain milestones throughout the year (e.g. granny, teacher, nanny, friend, etc.)
• Choose activities to help prepare your little one for the long holiday ahead. You could make a large poster of all the days leading up to the new school term. Draw pictures or stick images on certain days where planned activities will be taking place. This can then be used as a countdown to the new year, and they can colour, cross off the days or simply move a peg or image along the calendar
• Have a day of messy creations, from finger painting to play doe building
• Make a holiday bucket list with your children and try and tick things off as you do them. Check out our blog on A holiday bucket list for kids here
• There are a lot of “free activities” one can schedule. Visit parks that are not near you to give your kids a change in climbing experience. Try a beach which you normally don’t go to. Visit a library and find out about their holiday programme activities. Visit Christmas lights and decorations around your city

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We live in a society where caring parents will go to extraordinary lengths to develop their children’s intellectual abilities and spend a small fortune on all kinds of extra-curricular activities, ranging from art to sports. But how do you prepare your child for coping with life itself? What will you teach him about handling conflict, sadness and stress? I think we have all felt the side effects of stress and the feelings that go with it. Whether it be anger, worry, fear, sadness, we have all experienced these feelings. So have our children.

Childhood should not be stressful but in today’s culture, stress in children is becoming more and more frequent. With the pressures of school, sports, and all that the media throws at our children, it’s pretty clear how a child can quickly feel overwhelmed! As parents, we need to be aware of what our children are feeling. We need to be connected and spend enough time with our child in order to see the signs of stress in our kids. If you believe your child could be experiencing stress, consider the following:

What are some sources of stress in children?
Changes and situations in family dynamics, school, friends, an overabundance of activities, not enough down-time or creative outlets, too much TV, social pressures, low self-esteem, separation from parents, or other sources unique to your child.

What are some symptoms of stress in children?
While it may be difficult to recognize symptoms of stress in children, below are some symptoms that may alert you to stress:
Mood swings, sleep pattern changes, acting out, bed wetting, frequent stomach aches and headaches, trouble concentrating, incomplete schoolwork, a change in academic performance, and/or withdrawing or isolating oneself. Some children may start lying, defying authority, or bullying other children while others may suffer from nightmares, clinging to their parents, or overreacting to what are simply small problems. Very young children may begin new habits such as hair twirling, picking their nose, sucking their thumb, or other regressive behaviours.

Stress is one of the greatest threats to all life on earth. We may not be able to change the stressful situations in life but we can change how we cope with them. We can change our thoughts. Thoughts are the most powerful forces in a child’s universe. The thoughts children think each day influence every aspect of their lives. Their attitudes, choices, personality, and who they ultimately become as individuals, are all products of their thinking.

On the Kids who Can course, we empower today’s children to be active participants in creating their own healthy, calm, peaceful lives. Our aim is to provide children with a safe, fun space to learn about themselves, what they like, dislike, how they feel about things, and to learn to manage what life throws at them in a healthy effective way. Each lesson is structured in the same way so that the children enjoy the comfort of knowing what to expect as they become familiar with the class format. Repetition and practice insure that the empowering techniques of affirmations, visualisations and breathing are integrated into their lives.

For more information on Kids Who Can! – please contact me:
Louise Roos, Kids Who Can facilitator, will be running a workshop soon. Please call her on 083 6431007 or e-mail louisejroos@gmail.com for more details and bookings.

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