Toddlers are known to be very busy creatures! Getting them to slow down, look and share attention with you can be a challenge. While it may seem easier to let them occupy themselves and bounce from one activity to another, it is important for learning and future relationships to engage meaningfully with them. Teaching your little one to look at you, use non-verbal gestures like pointing and actively listen will help them to communicate better with others.

Some little ones seem to engage more naturally and don’t need much intentional prompting from an adult, while others are happy to be in their own little world and need help to actively play with others. So how can you, as an adult, draw your child out of their solitary play and entice him to enjoy the give and take of playing with others? As occupational therapists and experts on play, we share some of our best pointers to get you started:

1. pointing – encouraging your little one to point while looking at books or birds flying overhead will illicit shared attention and engagement. If he struggles to isolate his pointing finger, you could gently roll and tug along his finger from the base to the tip with your fingers, like a massage. Also try activities to isolate this finger such as finger painting, poking holes into playdough or planting seeds in the garden by poking holes for them.

2. reading – carve out some time to read at least 2 books a day with your little one. If his attention span is short you don’t have to read each word – rather focus on the pictures and choose books with actions he can do. Read his favourites over and over and see if he can remember the story and “read” it to you.

3. child-led play – imitate what your little one is doing by getting down onto the floor with her and copying the actions, sounds, facial expressions and activities she is doing. If your little one struggles to get started with this you can bring in a few favourite objects and see what she does (e.g. a ball, doll, teddy, mixing bowl and spoon).

4. requesting – many in tune caregivers know what their child wants before she has asked for it. It is important to “play dumb” and create the need for her to actively ask for what she wants. This could be gesturing (e.g. pointing or signing) or using language (e.g. saying “more juice”). You can model how to do this in the beginning if you need to. Look for opportunities during activities for your child to request, for example when colouring you could show her 2 colours and she can request the one she wants to use.

5. waiting for a response – young children in particular take a little time to process information. As adults we often expect them to gather, process and respond as fast as we do. Try to slow down a little and allow your child time to process and decide on a response. If you ask a question give him time to reply (count to 10 in your head if you have to!), if you request a choice from her give her a moment to pick an option, if he is hesitant to start an activity allow him a pause to decide where he wants to begin.

6. eye contact – this is such an important part of engaging with others. Show your child that he has your full attention by giving him eye contact from your side and then ask for his eye contact when he is responding to you. To encourage this you can wait for him to look at you when he is awaiting your response before answering him, gently guide his head up so that he is looking at your face, call his name or ask him to look at you before giving him a response or requesting something from him.

The seemingly “good” child who is easy to manage due to being able to play quietly on their own can seem very convenient, but needs our help to draw them out into meaningful play with others. Relationship is our ultimate goal, which can facilitate friendships, form the basis for learning and create self confidence from which your little one can engage with his world and those around him. Regular short periods of time throughout the day where you as a caregiver, intentionally engage and purposefully connect with your little one will go a long way in helping him on the playground, in class and with his family.

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In today’s rushed and digital era it is easy to miss opportune moments to strengthen this bond. We may be rushing from one activity to another, trying to multitask or distracted by an email as we try to work from home. This is why we have to be purposeful in order to ensure that this connection is secure.

Feeding is an opportune time where this bonding and attachment happens most naturally. As the baby feeds and gazes into their caregivers eyes, they are perfectly positioned on a sensory and neurological level to grow this attachment. Most often Mom is the one feeding her baby and thus inherently benefits more consistently from this magical attachment activity. This can leave Dad feeling less of a bond initially with his baby. Often this bond strengthens with Dad when a new sibling arrives, forcing Mom to be less available as she cares for the new baby. This gives Dad some focused opportunities to bond with his child. However, there is no need to wait for a new sibling to strengthen your baby’s attachment to significant others, you can start from the very beginning. Strong early attachment bonds have been proven to impact positively on future relationships and emotional well being.

Tips for strengthening attachment from the start:
1. skin-to-skin – make sure to spend some time daily with your baby in just their nappy and lying directly on your chest (their skin to your skin). Anyone can do this – not just Mom!

2. eye contact – be intentionally present when feeding, changing, bathing or singing to your baby. Try not to be distracted by others, screens or background noise. Try to position yourself approximately 30cm from your baby’s face as this is the best distance for them to focus on you.

3. contrasting colours – babies are able to focus on strong contrasts the easiest. You can wear make-up to contrast your eyes and lips or wear solid, bold coloured clothing which contrasts with your background.

4. co-sleeping – newborn babies do not form habits for the first few months, so co-sleeping during this time can have lovely attachment benefits without the fear of forming these sleep habits. You can co-sleep or rest with your baby during their nap time, it does not need to be all night.

5. peek-a-boo – there is a reason why babies love this game so much. It is because by playing this game they are learning that their caregiver is always there, even when baby can’t see them. In this way babies develop form constancy (knowing an object or person is there, even when it is out of sight), which helps them not to be anxious when they are separated from their caregiver for a short period of time. This trust that their caregiver will come back does wonders for bonding and attachment.

6. purposeful time – taking daily pockets of time to stop everything and focus solely on engaging with your little one (without background noise or other distractions) will grow this attachment bond. You could try cooing or imitating facial expressions (e.g. puckering lips or sticking your tongue out) and waiting for your baby to similarly respond. For the slightly older baby you could have fun with hand clapping games, nursery rhymes or action songs.

7. attachment object – many babies will attach to an object that smells familiar (like mom, dad, granny). You could try sleeping with one of their receiving blankets or a taglet. Then give this to them when they are sleepy, upset or away from you for a time. Babies sense of smell is stronger than adults’ and thus you should be careful not to overstimulate them with strong perfumes.

Just like we all have different personalities, we also all have different sensory needs and preferences. Some babies can tolerate a lot of attachment and bonding activities in their day while other babies become easily overwhelmed with too much. The best way to know what your baby needs is to watch their signs. Follow your baby’s lead and watch for cues that he has had enough. He may look away from you, yawn, hold up his hands in front of him, suck on his fingers more, start to hiccup, arch his back or give you a little frown. You don’t need to spend one long period in the day bonding with your baby, shorter more frequent periods throughout the day can be just as valuable. Happy bonding!

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The below diagram of a tree may help you to visualise what is happening with your little one’s development. It is important that, just like a tree, the “root” (or foundation) skills need to be watered and developed first so that the rest of the tree can grow healthy and strong. These sensory systems (touch, smell, taste, hearing, sight, movement and body position sense) are the basis of all other development and require constant input as your amazing baby grows and develops. As we move up the trunk of the tree (postural security, awareness of two sides of the body, motor planning, body scheme and reflex maturity) the development of the skills becomes slightly more complex. If there are strong, healthy roots, then the trunk skills will have a stable base to build on and should develop with opportunity and practice. The branches (ocular motor control, eye-hand coordination, attention, auditory and language, visual perception, spatial perception and postural adjustment) are the next level of development and can only progress well when built on the strong roots and trunk skills of the tree. The final stage is the fruit of the tree (self care tasks, behaviour and academic learning) and these are the skills your child is measured and tested on. They are the product of all that’s below them. Just as a tree that is not watered has shallow roots or an unhealthy trunk that will not bear fruit, so too a child that does not have strong foundational skills will not be able to attain the more complex academic, social and emotional skills expected of them. For example, maturity of the touch system (root level) enables better motor planning ability (being able to plan and execute a purposeful movement) which is a trunk skill. This is important for eye-hand coordination (a branch) which in turn enables the development of writing skills for academic learning (fruit). In other words, input at the root level can have an impact all the way up the tree to the fruit.

Making sure you spend some time each day providing Sensory Play opportunities for your baby/toddler will help them to form firm foundations on which to build more complex skills as they grow and develop.

Play is your child’s “work” and it is the way he learns best. JumpLeapFly will be hosting a one day workshop together with Training for Life which will cover both Sensory Play as well as Baby/Toddler CPR and First Aid – the PlaySafe Workshop. This will be an interactive workshop with loads of sensory activity ideas for you to do at home with your little one. Presented by professionals in these fields you will also have the opportunity to ask questions and try out many of the practical aspects of the workshop. We would love you to join us! Please visit www.FaceBook.com/JumpLeapFly for more information and to book for the next workshop.

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From a study forming part of the Master’s Degree Programme in Education and Child Studies at the Universiteit Leiden in the Netherlands, they posed a few questions to their students.

1. Do childhood experiences of parents impact the way in which they raise their own children?
2. What are the consequences and causes of child abuse?
3. How do genetic factors influence a child’s growth?
4. How does genetic predisposition and the environment influence a child’s growth?
5. How do neurobiological processes influence a parents and child’s behaviour?
6. In what way does day-care have an effect on the emotional development of a child and their relationship to their parents?
7. What needs to be taken into account for adoptive and foster children?
8. What early childhood experiences can affect their developmental behaviour and give rise to challenges?

We are of the opinion that all these questions are very relevant, and of course, the answers to them, even more so.

As all children are so very different, one has to know their personality to know how to raise them.  And, as per these questions, their history too, and that of their parents.

As a result, 5 trends have emerged, whereby schools and educators across the board, will be applying these in order to educate and develop the young minds in a better manner.  This particular study is from a US-based site, but rings true for how the South African school system is starting to work.

1. Assessing young learners more often

Initial testing to see where a child fits on the grid, as well as on-going tests, can help teachers and parents alike, in knowing where the child has difficulties, and where they excel.  In addition, knowing more about the child’s parents and their history, can help the educator understand the child better.

2. Early childhood programmes on the rise

Much like our GAP programmes, there are more and more of these pre-school style educational set-ups starting up.  Gone are the days of just dropping your kid at Grade 1 (or Sub A as it was in our days) and expecting them to just manage.  Early childhood programmes, which can start as early as a few months old, are essential to preparing the young ones for the world of big school.

3. Physical Fitness will be more of a focus

While kids move around a lot, the trend, once they are able to swipe their little fingers across a screen, is that they are most definitely moving less.  Child obesity is on the increase in South Africa, and the inactiveness of our youth is concerning.  The aim is to encourage children to partake in sports that can eventually be seen as lifetime sports, such as swimming, martial arts, dancing and running.  Our GAP classes are very physical, for both baby and mom!

4. Technology Integration

It is the way of the future, and we must respect that our children will be utilising technology more and more.  There are many benefits to incorporating technology, such as computers, tablets and e-learning books, into our kids’ education process.  It is in the balancing of this with the aforementioned point, that is key to a healthy lifestyle.

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